Dear Mr. Showalter,
First, I want to apologize for missing your show with Michael Ian Black last week here at the Pantages theater in Minneapolis. I was looking forward to it for so long, but I wound up getting sick and wasn’t able to attend. It makes me sad and I hope that you two will be coming back soon so I can stalk you like the crazy woman I am.
Second, why are you making me watch the Fox News Channel?! I just received notice that you are going to be on Red Eye so I had to flip through my channels and set the DVR to record it and I honestly couldn’t even find Fox News on my cable. My liberal sensibilities have blinded me to the Fox News emblem. Regardless, after much searching (how many times do they air the O’Reilly factor on any given day anyways?) I found the episode I was looking for and I honestly can’t wait to see you on TV. I’m madly in love with you, by the way. I just can’t get enough.
I also received your new comedy album “Sandwiches and Cats,” and I can’t wait to give it a listen! As soon as I finish with the new Band Of Horses album, I’ll throw it in.
Thank you for being you.
I love you Gerald Cooperberg!
Love,
ErnieBot
UPDATE:
Dear Mr. Showalter,
OK, I watched your episode of Red Eye.
Wow.
Did you want to punch each and every single one of those people as much as I did? That was painful. I’m overwhelmed with the urge to grind Bill Schultz trachea with a high heeled shoe. And that British dude should stop trying to be funny…leave that to the professionals.
However, I was happy to watch your segment. You were delightful, as always.
Keep up the good work!
ErnieBot
