ErnieBot is temporarily shut down.
I will leave the blog up for sheer shits and giggles, knowing that some of the things I’ve written in such a short time where entertaining for a few of you out there.
In the meantime, you can check out the new Pinky Cloudkicker
Dear Mr Sullivan,
Thank you so very very much for bringing us the beautiful gem known as Kelly. I too love shoes so I can relate all too well. Please continue to give me more!
Thanks,
ErnieBot
Dear Mr Ellis,
When are you going to let Hollywood stop butchering your books into movies?
I just read that “The Informers” is being made into a movie starring Billy Bob Thorton. I can’t help but think of what a mess they’re going to turn that into.
I love your books. I hate the chopped up hack versions that they get turned into once made into a movie however. (Less Than Zero made me lose my lunch just a little bit. Who’s idea was is to take three character names and re-write the ENTIRE fucking book? Lame)
But I guess I shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself. Maybe it’ll turn out OK.
Until then, I’ll keep my fingers crossed!
ErnieBot
Dear Ad Executives,
Whoever came up with the idea of this commercial is a fucking dick!
There’s a few glaringly obvious things wrong with this commercial. First of all, fucking up one credit card years ago does not automatically disqualify you for a home loan. With lenders being so eager to dish out home loans these days, I find it very hard to believe that it’s impossible to get a loan.
Second of all, if a house was that damn important to this guy, why didn’t he get a loan on his own and buy a house before he even met his “dream girl?” Oh, probably because he couldn’t afford the payments on a house with only his income?
It’s also incredibly insulting to a person like me (who will openly admit having credit issues in the past) to insinuate that a guys “dream girl” has flawless credit. I’m perfectly worthy of a man’s affection even though I still have some debt to straighten out, OK?
Obviously this ad was created by a group of masochistic assholes in power suits who drink $12 martinis on their lunch breaks.
Fuck off,
ErnieBot
