November

Ugly/Sexy men.  What else is there to be said?  Some men are so disgustingly awful to look at that it makes them outrageously desirable.  It’s almost like those days when you stay up for 24 hours plus and wind up getting dilerously happy and start to feel awake.

Well, maybe I’m the only one who has experienced that, but now you can understand where I’m coming from.

So, without further ado, I bring to you….

ErnieBot’s ErnieList for the month of November:

Ugly Sexy Men of the Silver Screen

• Billy Bob Thorton:  Best known for fucking Angelina Jolie and starring in really bad movies, such as Bad Santa and School for Scoundrels.  Lesser known for being a raging hillbilly with a pencil neck.
• John C Reilly: Cutely normal looking.  This guy looks like he should be a gym teacher in a small town.  His turn as Dr Steve Brule made me swoon and his mustache in Talladega Nights made me giggle.
• Michael Showalter:  Apparently been mistaken for Screech on occasion, however I am madly in love with him.  With a blended mix of part East Coast hipster and Ivy League professor sweaters, I am blissfully out of his league all together.  I can only imagine that he dates a 5′ 3″ Vegan chef who rides a bike and has a funky haircut.  I also imagine that he would slowly kill me with his sarcastic wit and I can’t think of a better way to go.
• Steve Buscemi:  He reminds me of a rodent.  A snarky, slimy little rodent.  And for reasons that will be completely unknown to anyone, that turns me on.
• Denis Leary:  Every Denis Leary fantasy is centered around a discussion where he ridicules me for my love of Starbucks coffee.  I try to back up my argument with the fact that I only drink the plain black stuff and he launches into his whole speech about how coffee shouldn’t have “flavors” and all he really wants is just a plain cup of black coffee.  Then he throws me up against the refrigerator and rips my clothes off, but I’ll save that story for another time and place.
• Willem Defoe:  It took his turn as a gay detective in one of my all time favorite movies, Boondock Saints, to really turn me on to the sexy that is Willem Defoe.

So there you have it.  The very first ErnieList.  Please feel free to contribute if you wish.  If its a matter of making your own list, or providing a suggestion for next months list, email me at atomicswirly@yahoo.com or leave a comment below!